Niki Davis-Fainbloom
Sex educator, author, researcher, & coach
Exploring the science, psychology, and wonderfully weird world of human desire.
Niki Davis-Fainbloom (MA) is recognized as one of NYC’s most adept sexuality and relationship experts. Niki has been featured in numerous publications, facilitated education workshops worldwide, and is an innovative sex and relationship coach. The goal of her work is to give people the skills to have more satisfying romantic and sexual relationships. She uses scientifically backed research, practical instructions, and a pinch of humor to help folks talk about sex, boost their sexual confidence, and increase their pleasure. Her forthcoming book, Fetish: Smash Taboos and Celebrate What Turns You On will be published by Hachette Book Group in October 2026.
FETISH: Smash Taboos and Celebrate What Turns You On
Coming October 27 from Balance/Hachette.
Sex is weird. Let’s talk about it.
I’m Niki Davis-Fainbloom, a New York–based sex educator, writer, researcher, and coach fascinated by what turns us on—and why.
My work sits somewhere between science, education, and play. I’ve spent years researching sexuality, teaching workshops, working one-on-one with clients, and exploring the strange and beautiful world of human desire.
I have a master’s degree focused on the psychology of sexual dysfunction from NYU, have taught more than 500 workshops, and have brought conversations about sexuality to organizations including Planned Parenthood and the United Nations.
Whether I’m investigating how fetishes develop, teaching a room full of people the science of kissing (i.e., non-creepily watching a bunch of couples make out), or helping someone figure out what they actually want, my approach is curious, practical, research-backed, and shame-free.
FETISH
Smash Taboos and Celebrate What Turns You On
Why are some people turned on by feet, balloons, leather, quicksand, or being watched—and why can something ordinary become intensely erotic for one person and do nothing for another?
Drawing on hundreds of scientific studies, candid interviews, and original research with more than 260 people, FETISH is a curious, compassionate guide to unconventional desire. From laboratory rats conditioned to develop “jacket fetishes” to the strange rise and fall of the quicksand fetish, it explores where our turn-ons come from, what they reveal about us, and how to let go of shame and embrace the kaleidoscope of human sexuality.
Coming October 27, 2026 from Balance/Hachette.
Come learn something weird with me.
I create playful, research-backed events about sex, relationships, desire, and everything we were probably never taught properly.
You might find yourself experimenting with the science of a great kiss, practicing dirty talk, building a fantasy, competing in sex trivia, or wandering around a kinky carnival.
My events happen in bars, bookstores, universities, community spaces, and other places where people are willing to get a little curious.
Upcoming Events
Sex & Relationship Coaching
Sex and relationships can get complicated. Sometimes it helps to have someone knowledgeable to think through them with.
I work with individuals, couples, and people in a range of relationship structures around desire, communication, fetishes and kink, sexual confidence, fantasy, non-monogamy, pleasure, and intimacy.
I especially love helping people get curious about what they want next—whether that means setting sexy goals for the year ahead, going deep on one specific challenge, exploring something new together, or finding ways to bring more connection and pleasure into everyday life.
There’s no single version of a “good” sex life. Our work is about understanding what yours looks like—and figuring out how to get closer to it.
My style is playful, practical, future-focused, and big on homework. I want you to leave each session with things to try, talk about, or explore, so something can shift between one session and the next.
A little about me
The professional version
I’m a researcher, writer, educator, and coach whose work has taken me from academic research to classrooms, workshops, media, and some very unconventional conversations. I earned my master’s degree from New York University, where I focused on the psychology of sexual dysfunction, and have studied at the Kinsey Institute and the University of Guelph. I’ve worked as a Sexual Assault Preventionist/Educator at Mount Sinai Hospital and have spoken about sexuality, relationships, and pleasure at New York University, the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, and the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality.
The slightly less academic version
I’m a ridiculous, silly weirdo. I’ve been painted naked in Times Square, talked dirty to my ex’s dog via Instagram, interviewed a polyamorous Hasidic sword-fighter, and introduced two people with sneeze fetishes. I’ve been paid for a conference in copious amounts of sex toys—which caused a bit of a scene when airport security opened my bag.
Both versions are pretty accurate.
Press, Speaking & Collaborations
I’m available for interviews, podcasts, panels, speaking engagements, brand collaborations, and custom events, with a focus on desire, fetishes and kink, relationships, sexual communication, fantasy, and pleasure.
Featured
Spoken
What Folks Say
“I was shy during my first session with Niki, but she created a safe and non-judgmental space. She helped me explore the impact of my catholic upbringing on my sexuality and gave me the tools to get comfortable talking about sex for the first time.”
“Niki has been absolutely fantastic to work with. She has the perfect balance of being very brutally honest with you, and at the same time also being very compassionate and empathetic. She never just tells you what you want to hear, but still can be very encouraging, complimentary and positive. Niki is very solution focused and always brings you back to what can we do today and moving forward to improve your situation and improve your life moving forward. She is extremely easy to talk to, open up to, and share anything with, she asks very good questions and is an incredible listener. Niki is never judgmental and has a very open-minded point of view on the world today. Her coaching sessions have been enormously helpful and valuable for me and I highly recommend her to anyone.”
“I don’t want to say Niki gave me my first orgasm because that sounds wrong, but it was through her ability to help me get out of my head and into my body, her homework assignments, and her encouragement that I got there. Patience is key. Change didn’t happen overnight, but through her guidance and support, I got there. It was a happy day when I told her I didn’t need to see her anymore, as I was ready to move on with my magic wand!”