Fetish
We still live in a world where uncommon desires are often met with shame, silence, or misunderstanding. It can be difficult to talk about a fetish, find willing partners, introduce it into a relationship, or figure out how to explore it ethically.
My work helps you replace shame with curiosity—and gives you practical tools to explore your fetishes on your own, understand the thoughts and feelings surrounding them, find compatible partners, and share your desires with current or future partners.
The book
Fetish: Smash Taboos and Celebrate What Turns You On
What if your desires aren’t something to hide—but something worth understanding?
Drawing on hundreds of scientific studies, original research with more than 260 participants, and candid interviews, Fetish explores where our turn-ons come from, why certain fantasies stay with us, and what our desires can teach us about who we are.
Whether you have a fetish, love someone who does, or are simply fascinated by human sexuality, this book offers a curious, shame-free look at the wonderfully strange ways we get turned on.
Available October 27, 2026 from Balance, an imprint of Hachette Book Group.
Would you like to share your experiences with fetishes?
Contribute to my ongoing research on unique desires.
Share your experience anonymously
Go deeper with The Desire Lab
Reading the book is only the beginning.
The Desire Lab is an upcoming interactive learning experience designed to help you better understand and explore your desires. It will combine self-paced lessons, videos, guided exercises, live group sessions, and optional one-on-one coaching.
Inside the Lab, you’ll explore where your desires may come from, how you feel about them, and how to bring them into your life and relationships with greater confidence.
The Desire Lab isn’t open yet, but you can join the waitlist to be the first to know when it launches.
Want personalized support?
Nothing is too strange to discuss.
Coaching can help you:
Work through shame or stigma surrounding your fetish
Become more comfortable talking about what turns you on
Introduce a fetish into an existing relationship
Navigate differences between your desires and your partner’s
Find ethical, consensual ways to explore
Discover new possibilities for pleasure and connection
Together, we’ll create a practical plan that fits your desires, values, relationships, and real life.
“Working with Niki is a breath of fresh air. It's so refreshing to have the space to talk about my desires and preferences as the natural, human elements that they are. Her empathy, knowledge, and good humor have enabled me to open up about my hangups and work through them with a light, understanding approach.”
“Niki helped me overcome the shame I experienced from my (a bit out there) fetish. Her charisma, insightful (albeit sometimes strange) homework assignments and extremely non-judgmental attitude helped me create change in the way I thought about my desires, find new partners, and become more confident and clear about what I wanted (and not freaking out potential partners by going in too hard too fast).”
Check out some articles I’ve written about fetishes
